Bible Study: Sabbath Questions & Divorce and Marriage

Fred R. Coulter—April 21, 2012

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Kindling of fire on the Sabbath (Exo. 35):

We find that back in the book of Exo. 35. Not the book, Judaism: A Revelation of Moses or a Religion of Men? by Philip Neal? How does kindling of fire apply today?

Let me just interject here before answering questions: For studying the Bible, in The Holy Bible In Its Original Order, A Faithful Version we have Appendix A: The 14 Rules of Bible Study. These are derived from within the Bible and experience as well. What we need to do is also encourage you to go through that. In some places in the Bible we have 'line upon line; precept upon precept; here little, there little,' especially in the book of Isaiah.

You go along it will little talk about, for example, the first coming of Christ in one verse, and then you'll be at the second coming of Christ in the next verse. This is why, concerning that type of study, when Jesus returned from the Father after being resurrected and ascending to the Father and coming back to the disciples, he went through the Law, the Prophets and the Psalms and opened their understanding to those. Here we have something that's a little more straightforward.

Exodus 35:1: "And Moses gathered all the congregation of the children of Israel together and said to them, 'These are the words which the LORD has commanded, for you to do them. Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you a Holy Day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does work in it shall be put to death'" (vs 1-2). Especially so since God was right there in the cloud and in the fire.

Verse 3: "You shall kindle no fire throughout your living places upon the Sabbath Day."

If you have no fire already going, because it doesn't say you can't keep a fire going, how do you start a fire with no matches? Flintstone, yes, and it ends up being a lot of work. It doesn't say you shall not add wood that you have stacked next to the fire on the fire, but it says, "You shall kindle no fire…"

Verse 4: "And Moses spoke to all the congregation of the children of Israel saying, 'This is the thing which the LORD commanded. He said, "Take from among you an offering to the LORD…"'" (vs 4-5).

Then Moses lists all the offerings of the things that they were to bring to build the tabernacle. There is, also because of the context of this following, that this especially applies to the work that they were going to do, such as smelting gold, copper, brass and silver, forming and molding those things. Those fires, now to kindle that fire and get that going, was an especially difficult thing. So, they had to with those fires, because in order to keep it from going totally out, they had to be adding the fuel to it, dampening it down, turning down the damper so you have coals.

Now, it doesn't say you can't have coals. It doesn't say that you can't add to a fire that's already going. It says "you shall not kindle," because of the work that was necessary to do that. I saw a program on Alaska on NatGeo, and he got out there in the rainy wilderness and no matches. For them to get the things that they needed to get, and get that fire going, it took them 2-1/2 hours, and it was work!

This is obvious, you're not to kindle a fire throughout your living places upon the Sabbath. That also means the workplaces where they were doing the smelting and the putting together of the Holy implements, and things like this.

How do we apply it today? Let's look at the circumstances here; you have to look at the circumstances that they were in. They were all gathered together in one place surrounding the tabernacle. Everything was a closed society. They had plenty of time on the sixth day, they just had to go out and get twice as much manna. They had plenty of time to go out and gather wood. Of course, the Sinai Peninsula's climate at that time was much, much different than it is today. At that time all of the Sahara Desert was a vast wheat field! Today, the Sinai Peninsula and all of North Africa is a vast desert, except right along the coasts. So, there had to be enough grass and feed to take care of the animals. For the water, God provided water out of the rock. So, they had two miracles:

• the manna
• the water out of the rock

It took a lot of water for all those people and for those animals, so, they could prepare very easily.

All of this was minus living scattered in the world; they were all together, just like when they got to the Holy Land and the city of Jerusalem. You read about Nehemiah enforcing that there would be no lifting of burdens, and that was implying buying and selling and things like that on the Sabbath. Today we're in a different situation.

• How do we get heat?
• Do we kindle a fire?

We turn the thermostat and it's automatic!

• Is that work?

No that is not work!

• What about a kitchen stove, electric or gas? That's automatic!

So, to not kindle a fire, and then carried out to the extreme as they have in Judaism... You can even buy an electric stove today with the Sabbath mode, that you can turn the whole thing off, just so you won't cheat on the Sabbath according to Judaism.

For keeping the Sabbath and you're going to keep it at home, you have plenty of time to prepare. You have plenty of time to do the things you need to do. To fry an egg on Sabbath is not a sin. Heating up food is not a sin, because even the Jews allow for a stove to be going on the Sabbath, but you can't start it. They have some other rules that you'll read in the book Code of Jewish Law by Ganzfried & Goldin.

For us today, the two most important things for Sabbath is:

• we're not doing any of our own work; that still applies
• we're to use the day with prayer and worship toward God

That becomes the paramount thing. Prayer and worship toward God is a combination of prayer and Bible study.

Since we're all scattered, when we can assemble together, then, yes, we can drive the cars. When we turn on the ignition, we're starting a fire. But what is more important? Coming together to fellowship when we have the opportunity!

Today it's entirely different than back then. So, the way that we heat or cool our homes or drive a car, that's perfectly allowable for the sake of:

• gathering together to fellowship
• to worship God
• to study His Word
• things like that

When there are long, long miles of driving, then on those occasions… We have people come a hundred miles, and I'm 330 miles by the time I get down there. We have a lot of scattered brethren come in; about 60 get together every time we get to Arcadia. So, we buy a meal for everyone, just like we did when we were down here at the Hilton for The Night to be Much Observed and the next day, the first day of Unleavened Bread. That is allowable today from the point of view that those things:

• facilitate fellowship being together
• rejoicing in God
• rejoicing together

And those things supersede not buying anything on the Sabbath. Now, you should not go out to the store to buy your groceries on the Sabbath, that's obvious. Those are the things today, the allowances are:

• eating out on the Sabbath
• if you didn't gas up then you've got to buy gas
• if you have to cross the bridge and pay a toll
• public transit, you have to pay for that

That's perfectly all right to do, because the higher command of fellowshipping together is the thing that is important. Now, you can't use that as an excuse to do a lot of other things either! So, will we be doing that in the Millennium, the Kingdom of God? No!

So, there are some principles here that we take from the Old Testament, and we read it, and then we have to make a judgment based upon the circumstances in view of what the New Testament teaches us, so we can accomplish what God wants us to do.

Exo. 16—there are several things here. They had manna they had no bread, so God told them on the sixth day, 'Go out and gather twice as much, it won't breed worms and stink.' They had manna for 40 years, and there was never any on the Sabbath. Even that did not convince the people concerning the Sabbath!

Exodus 16:23: "And he [Moses] said to them, 'This is that which the LORD has said, "Tomorrow is the rest of the Holy Sabbath to the LORD. Bake what you will bake today, and boil what you will boil. And that which remains over, lay up for yourselves to be kept until the next morning."'" That is to be eaten the next day. They were to stay in their tents on the Sabbath. Let's also analyze the difference of today.

• there wasn't a single Scripture written down
• they had nothing to study

It was an entirely different situation. This was resting from all the walking and traveling, and God provided everything for them!

Today we take the principle of preparing, and prepare on the sixth day. But our circumstances in keeping the Sabbath are entirely different. In keeping the Sabbath, as we started out, it's worship study and fellowship; all of those things are involved in it; those are entirely different.

What Jesus did according to the Pharisees, what the disciples did according to the Pharisees—and even according to the things in the Old Testament—were not lawful concerning physical things.

Mark 2:23: "Now, it came to pass that He went through the grain fields on the Sabbaths…"

They didn't have sidewalks. They didn't have roads much like we had to have today; they had paths. They had wider paths for donkeys, pack animals, mules and things, and there were the grain fields on each side. Now it distinctly says, you shall not harvest on the Sabbath. So, this was more than just plucking just a few heads a grain.

"…and as His disciples made their way through the fields, they were picking and eating the grain. Then the Pharisees said to Him, 'Look at them! Why are they doing that which is not lawful on the Sabbaths?'" (vs 23-24).

• Where were they going? They were going to the synagogue!
• What did they do? They went from synagogue to synagogue on the Sabbath!

It doesn't tell us how many that he went to, but they were on the way to the synagogue. Here's how Jesus answered the question:

Verse 25: "And He said to them, 'Have you never read what David did when he was hungry and in need of food, he and those with him? How in the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered into the house of God and he ate the showbread, which it is not lawful to eat except for the priests, and he also gave it to those who were with him?'" (vs 25-26).

The showbread were large loaves, about a foot long, about four inches high, and about five-six inches wide. There were twelve special gold plated shelves that these wave loaves were put on, and they were to be there from one Sabbath to the next. The priests were the only ones to eat from it. It is absolutely true that it was not lawful for anyone to eat it except the priests. Notice what Jesus said, which becomes very important for us in keeping the Sabbath today.

Verse 27: "And He said to them, 'The Sabbath was made for man…'"

• for rest, originally communication with God. Imagine the Sabbaths that Adam and Eve kept
• for instruction when Moses would instruct them in the word

"…and not man for the Sabbath; therefore, the Son of man is Lord even of the Sabbath" (vs 27-28).

What he is saying is that what is necessary to keep the Sabbath Day under the coming New Covenant that would be allowable?

• travel

You read Code Jewish Law, you can only walk so far!

• eating out with unprepared food, which you would carry with you was allowed

Jesus Himself allowed it, and He said that He was "…Lord even of the Sabbath [Day]."

Let's see the parallel account of this in Matt. 12, and see how that applied to the disciples of Christ, this differs from keeping the Sabbath in a closed community. Keeping the Sabbath in a closed community you can do. You can prepare ahead of time. You can lock everything else down.

When we were at Ambassador College that's exactly what happened. However until they had the meeting facilities, we had to walk clear down to the women's club, which was two and a half miles away. Nevertheless, all the meals were prepared ahead of time. They were heated up on the Sabbath; all the students went through and had their meal on the Sabbath.

Matthew 12:1: "At that time Jesus went through the grain fields on the Sabbath Days…"

This is plural showing that it was something they were doing quite regularly because the different crops would mature at different times. That's why the Feast of Pentecost is seven weeks to the harvest, and it starts out with the Wave Sheaf Offering, then seven weeks of harvesting. Grain was in process of ripening for nearly two months.

"…and His disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck the heads of grain and to eat them" (v 1). What does this tell us? They had nothing that they were carrying with them!

Verse 2: "But after seeing this, the Pharisees said to Him, 'Behold, Your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath.'" It's quite correct, you shall not harvest.

Verse 3: "But He said to them, 'Have you not read what David did when he himself and those with him were hungry? How he went into the house of God and he ate the loaves of showbread, which it was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those who were with him, but for the priests only? Or have you not read in the law that on the Sabbaths… [plural again; every Sabbath] …the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath and are guiltless?'" (vs 3-5).

How do they profane it? They work hard for the offerings; they had to slaughter the animals, skin the animals, sprinkle the blood on the altar. They had to also boil certain of the other offerings and so forth.

Verse 6: "But I say to you, there is one here Who is greater than the temple." Here is Jesus legislating for us in the New Covenant, so that when we are scattered and far abroad, we have a little more leeway than what they had before the New Covenant. So, He said:

Verse 7: "Now, if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless."

When you read the Code of Jewish Law in the back of the Judaism book—we have quite a section there—you will see that the whole principle of Judaism is strict laws, and everything they do falls into the category of a sacrifice: your actions and your thoughts.

I hope you read the one about 'what you do on the Sabbath Day when you come to a creek.' If it's too broad, you have to wade through it, because you couldn't jump over it because that would be work. They did everything in the letter of the Law they defined according to their own traditions!

When the Gospel is preached to the whole world, and you're out in very different places, then this gives us a certain amount of leeway, so we can:

• worship God
• study His Word
• assemble together

Verse 8: "'For the Son of man is Lord even of the Sabbath Day.' And after leaving there, He went into their synagogue" (vs 8-9). He was on the on the way to heal and so forth.

Divorce and Remarriage:

Matthew 5:31: "It was also said in ancient times, 'Whoever shall divorce his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.' But I say to you, whoever shall divorce his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality…" (vs 31-32).

That's the cause right there. Why is that the major cause? Because husband and wife are to be one flesh right from the beginning: 'they… [the two] …shall become one flesh,' When there is sexual immorality—there are all kinds of it, and there has been all kinds of sexual immorality down through history—today that would invalidate probably greater than 60-70 percent of marriages.

"…causes her to commit adultery; and whoever shall marry her who has been divorced is committing adultery" (v 32).

Matthew 19:3: "Then the Pharisees came to Him and tempted Him, saying to Him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?'"

Today you don't even have to have a cause. Today, what they're doing is having live-ins before marriage. They're also thinking of having two-year intervals of marriage, where you marry for two years and if you don't like it after two years you're out. That falls into the adulterous generation.

Verse 4: "But He answered them, saying, 'Have you not read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh"? So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate'" (vs 4-6).

You have to take the Scripture that we read before on sexual immorality and add that to it. God expects husbands and wives to work out their own difficulties. God made the man the head; that's how God made it. Today that is totally rejected. They think that what the Bible is talking about, with a man as the head, that that's akin to the Muslim way of beating their wives—abusing their wives—and that is not true.

They are to love each other! They are to grow closer together. This means if there are difficulties or if there are problems that:

• through the Spirit of God
• through prayer
• through understanding each other

—and if it's a real difficult problem you may need a third-party to help keep everything squared around—to know what to do and that's what they would call counseling today.

But if, first of all, there is the love and there is following the ways of God, then the disputes between husband and wife will not be to the point of hatred and divorce. You have to work out your problems. Some of them are difficult.

Verse 6: "So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate"—what God has joined!

If there's a whole history of sexual immorality before marriage, and it continues after marriage: Did God bind it? Did God join them? No!

Verse 7. "They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?' He said to them, 'Because of your hardheartedness, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever shall divorce his wife, except it be for sexual immorality, and shall marry another, is committing adultery…'" (vs 7-9). This is where we end up today: Where Jesus said, 'A wicked and adulterous generation demands a sign.'

What are the grounds of loosing a marriage?

Let's see how Paul handled the problem, and he made it clear. That's really what we are asking here. Now we have a whole sermon series: Divorce and Remarriage. If you want to go through that, just write in for it or call the office and we'll send it to you.

1-Corinthians 6:9: "Don't you know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers of themselves as women…" That's a special Greek word that is not translated except in very few translations this way.

"…nor homosexuals" (v 9). That's why homosexuals come right after it, because there are those men who play the female part and there are those men who are the aggressive male part in a homosexual relationship. Likewise with a female homosexual relationship, you have the same kind of setup and that would be for women or those who abuse themselves as men; we could apply it today.

Verse 10: "Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the Kingdom of God." All of those can be forgiven, as he shows in v 11; but what were they doing? They were continuing a lot of these things.

Verse 11: "And such were some of you; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."

Then he says, v 12: "All things that are lawful…" The King James says 'all things are lawful." No! Not all things are lawful! That would mean every unlawful act would be lawful Paul just condemned the unlawful acts—did he not? Yes! So, this is why we put into words "…that are lawful…".

Verse 12: "All things that are lawful are permitted to me, but all things that are lawful are not beneficial…"—especially if it is offensive to someone.

You could say you can answer in truth, by being mean, hostile and belligerent. Or you could answer in a different way. You could say the same truths; for example you could go up to someone who made a statement you go up put your face right in and say, 'That's a lie!' Well, the person gets offended. Or he could say, 'Let's think about the situation for just a minute. Maybe there many aspects to be considered. So before we make a judgment let's examine everything.'

One is answered in hostility and hate; one is answered in love. That's why we are instructed to speak the truth in love. There's another way of putting it: Get your mind and your spirit in gear, before you open your mouth! Isn't it true, every time you rush to judgment in everything, 90% of the time you're wrong. I've done that.

"…all things that are lawful are permitted to me, but I will not be mastered by anything" (v 12). It's lawful to drink wine, but it's a sin to be a drunkard. It's lawful to have all the sex you want and need in marriage, but it is a sin otherwise.

Verse 13: "Foods are for the belly, and the belly is for foods; but God will destroy both it and those. Now, the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

God is interested in conversion: changing and getting rid of sin. That's why we have the sermon series: The Washing of The Water by the Word.

• How do you handle disputes between brethren?
• How is that done?
• What is in Matt. 18?
• How do you handle that?

All of those things are important.

Verse 14: "And God has also raised the Lord from the dead, and will raise us by His own power. Don't you know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? MAY IT NEVER BE!" (vs 14-15).

This is physical and spiritual. That's why we have the example. Note: Rev. 17 the great whore, the harlot. That's not part of God. There are no converted members in that religious system. Some may appear to be good and nice, but are they converted with the Spirit of God? No, because there in the idolatrous fornicating system!

Verse 16: "WHAT! Don't you know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body?…. [What happens then? Both become polluted!] …For He says, 'The two shall be one flesh.' But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit" (vs 16-17). You can't do that, that's what he is saying.

Verse 18: "Flee sexual immorality…." Well now, that's what Joseph did! Left his coat, and he got thrown in the dungeon. Today they teach children run to sexual immorality, embrace sexual immorality. How many marriages are really valid before God? Probably 60-90% are invalid!

"…Every sin that a man may commit is outside the body…" (v 18). If you steal, if you hurt someone, if you disobey a law or something, that's outside.

"…but the one who commits sexual immorality is sinning against his own body" (v 18)—because you were bringing the sin and everything with it into your very being.

That's why there are sexually-transmitted diseases. That is the penalty for that kind of behavior. 'Oh, but science is there. You can't have children, we'll do intro vitro fertilization.' Why not start at the beginning and teach people the right thing, and teach them how, so when they marry, then God will bless them. They are entering into marriage loaded with curses without repentance.

That can also be more than sexual immorality: wife beating, husband beating! That can be counseled and overcome if there's repentance. But no man or no woman is to be in a place where they are beaten up all the time. No way!

Verse 19: "WHAT! Don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, which you have within you from God, and you are not your own?"—to go and live a life of sin the way that you used to. That's what he's talking about. That's the completed thought.

Verse 20: "For you were bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

Rather than living in sin and sexual immorality: lying, cheating, stealing, idolatry, and all the works of the flesh!

(go to the next track)

Pornography, etc.:

We need to bring up a modern widespread sin, which is pornography. It destroys marriages very quickly, because it destroys the mind. And pornography can be more insidious and affect the mind even more and longer than adultery itself. Every woman says, all men watch pornography, and 30-million women are also obsessed with pornography.

Most people do not understand a very important principle. In Lev. 18 are all the sexual sins listed out in great detail. Modern therapy is already introducing that pedophilia is fine, that even incest is good.

• it talks about nakedness

and you can say that's the way the world is

• it talks about homosexuality
• it talks about bestiality

Here's what happens; Leviticus 18:24: "Do not defile yourselves in any of these things, for in all these the nations, which I cast out before you, are defiled. And the land is defiled…." (vs 24-25).

Let's understand something very, very clearly: there is no such thing as a private sin that does not affect your public conduct, and does not affect the people that you are around!

• be it lying
• be it stealing
• be it adultery
• whatever it is

"…Therefore, I visit its wickedness against it, and the land itself vomits out those who live in it…. [God's judgment is coming] …You shall, therefore, keep My statutes and My judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations, neither the native, nor any stranger that lives among you; for the men of the land who were before you have done all these abominations, and the land is defiled" (vs 25-27).

Note Jer. 23, because of adultery the whole climate is affected; the land dries up.

Verse 28: "You shall not do these so that the land may not spew you out also when you defile it, as it spewed out the nations that were before you; for whoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls who commit them shall be cut off from among their people" (vs 28-29).

How does God do that? They become problems and difficulties, and decent people have nothing to do with them! That's how they're cut off. That's explaining it in modern terminology. Now here's a very important principle:

Leviticus 19:29: "You shall not prostitute your daughter to cause her to be a whore, lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness."

Is that not what is happening to us today? What is the first thing that the women's rights are teaching?

• prostituting the daughters
• giving birth control free
• abortions to 12-year-olds without permission of parents

What has happened to the whole land? Filled with whoredoms! You can't even watch the news without some kind of body exposure. Now, here is a principle. This is why the book of Proverbs warns against the wayward woman so much.

When the women are prostituted like they are today legally, men cannot help themselves, they do not have the restraint! There's only one example of a man who had the restraint: Joseph. Would men watch pornography if women wouldn't pose for the pictures and have them published? No! Because it comes right to the mind! A man sexually is very weak! That's why it says flee fornication or sexual immorality.

And when women make up their minds to become brazen and prostitute themselves, and become sexually active in these ways without marriage, they are a leading cause of all of these problems! You go back 50 years, before all the lies of the Kinsey sexual reports; they were all lies and the statistics were not true. But nevertheless, when women held virginity in virtue, and they said no to the advances of a male—90%-plus or more maybe 95%-plus—'I'm not going to get involved in any sexual activity until I am married, and I don't know if you're the one or not.' The man would stop if he is any kind of gentleman.

There are other vicious things today because they are prostituting the daughters and women. And you know it's just a mad, mad sexual mess out there in the world, and it affects people in the Church, as well. This is why God lays the emphasis on the problems with the women, more than men. Not because men are any less at fault, but because the way God made man, when a woman opens herself up to anything with a man, he's 'history,' he is gone!

That's why it says, 'if a man look upon a woman.' A woman does not have the same kind of response, unless she has sold her soul to prostitution. If you talk to ex-prostitutes, they really got fed up with it over years of doing it. The only thing that they had to show for it, if they save their money, was the possessions they bought afterwards. But they had every kind of operation on their female organs because of what they were doing. So, they paid many, many penalties!

What binds a marriage?

First, of all they have to be married in the Lord! They are to stay married. 1-Cor. 7—We will see one more exception here, but this ties in with everything concerning marriage. Then we will look at how God looks at the marriage.

1-Corinthians 7:1: "Now, concerning the things that you wrote to me…" They had sex problems back there. Ever look at any Greek art? Roman art? Isn't it interesting, none of those empires are standing today? Isn't that true?

"…saying, 'It is good for a man not to touch a woman'…'" (v 1). That's how to avoid it! But that's not all there is to it. 

Look at the pedophilia priests. Why are the priest mostly pedophiliacs and homosexual? Because they went from a Catholic grade school, to Catholic high school, to Catholics University, to Catholic seminary, and they never had any proper interaction with women! So, they don't know how to behave. They are stuck in the a 5th grade mentality or a 5-year-old mentality sexually. The last person you ever want to go to the counsel for marriage is a priest! So, you can imagine what it was back there.

Verse 2: "Rather, to avoid sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."

Stay married! Work out your problems! If you love each other you're going to minimize the problems. If you understand each other, you're going to minimize the problems. But if you are self-centered—either male or female, husband or wife—and everything has to revolve around you, then you know you're in trouble. You can't have that.

Verse 3: "Let the husband render his conjugal dues to his wife, and in the same way also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband; and in the same way also, the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife" (vs 3-4). God invented sex, He designed sex:

• it is to be a beautiful and wonderful thing
• it is also to bring husband and wife together as one flesh
• it is also to procreate and bring forth children

Also in that way, a woman needs to understand the great relationship she can have with God in bringing forth children, because God is specially created her to bear children. In other words, you are helping God bring new human beings into the world, so that God's plan will be furthered! So, God has a special relationship with women in that way.

Verse 5. "Do not deprive one another of conjugal dues, except it be by consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to fasting and prayer; and then come together again as one, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control."

Once you're married, and sex is the whole point in getting married, you're going to have lots of sex. You don't need any self-control. You need to have expressing of love! So, here this shows that God intends the marriage to have lots of sex.

Is it wrong with proper birth control? No, it's not wrong! But be careful of some of the birth control pills because they can cause cancer. Yes, and the newer versions can cause blood clots. So, be careful. Proper birth control is fine.

Verse 6: "Now I say this by permission, and not by command."

1-Corinthians 14:36: "WHAT? Did the Word of God originate with you? Or did it come only to you and no one else?" I tell you, I don't know how Paul put up with this church. I mean, it was a burden!

Verse 37: "If anyone thinks that he is a prophet or spiritual… [let me tell you, a lot of people today think they are] …let him acknowledge that the things I write to you are commandments of the Lord."

When he said I do this by permission and not command, by time he got done with it, it becomes a command. 

1-Corinthians 7:7: "For I wish that all men might be even as myself…. [Paul was not married; he may have been previously married] …But each one has his own gift from God…"

You don't take a celibacy vow, and you enforce it on your own. God has to give you the gift of countenance.

He says, "…one is this way, and another is that way…. [you look at various circumstances] …Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they can remain even as I am" (vs 7-8)—that is for the present distress that they were in.

Verse 9: "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; because it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire. And to those who are married I give this charge, yet, not I, but the Lord: Do not let the wife be separated from her husband. (But if she does separate, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband.) And the husband is not to divorce his wife" (vs 9-11). That is to those in the Church.

Yes, they were having difficult times. I mean, you read 1-Cor. 5; one who was sleeping with his stepmother. I mean, you know. Hello! In the Church? Look at what happened when the Church said, 'Let's allow divorce.' The first thing that happened in one church that I know, two couples agreed to divorce each other and marry their wives. They are supposed to be converted and in the Church. Obviously God did not recognize that as a valid reason.

Here's the only other exception; v 12: "Now to the rest, I, not the Lord, say this: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to dwell with him, let him not divorce her. And if a woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to dwell with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are Holy" (vs 12-14). That they will have God's protection of the angels.

Verse 15: "But if the unbelieving husband or wife separates, let him or her separate. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases; for God has called us to peace."

So, that means the only other exception for dissolving the marriage is if the unbelieving mate husband or wife leaves. Now sexual immorality, unbelieving, great abuse; all of those would fall into this category.

Yes, sometimes things are so hostile. Sometimes the unbelieving husband or wife are very understanding, but sometimes they are absolutely hostile and adamant, and it's completely impossible to live together. Then that marriage can be dissolved and the believing person can marry again within the Lord.

Verses 3 and 5 show that there should in marriage be regular sexual activity. That's why God made us sexual creatures. That's why God made the sexual experience as delightful as he did.

Now let's see some guidelines of what you need to do. Just because there is authority, authority without love is not good. It can lead to harshness, cruelty and abuse. Yes, the wife is to submit to her husband, but you have to make yourself submitable to. You have to have wisdom and understanding. Let's see what Paul wrote about it:

Ephesians 5:22: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord; for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church; and He is the Savior of the Body" (vs 22-23). That means the provider the protector. All of this sort of thing is necessary and implied in being a Savior.

Verse 24: "For even as the Church is subject to Christ, in the same way also let wives be subject to their own husbands in everything."

Now certain things need to be discussed. You need to sit down and work things out. Where are you going to live? What kind of car you are going to get? Different major things like that you do together.

What if the husband doesn't want to be the head of the house? Then you've got a 'heap big' problem! You have a henpecked husband. So, women need to be careful if the man doesn't want to be the head.  Don't marry him, because you'll end up being his mother rather than his wife!

Then what happens? Then it ends up after years of that, you have overbearing henpecked husbands, picking wives. like they show on some of the commercials on television. The husbands are totally incompetent. There are some men who abrogate their duty that way so much they become like that. 'Honey, what do you think…? After that she might retort back and say, 'Listen, get a brain, think it out, don't ask me.' Now you got a fight going on. You need to sit down to work it out.

Sometimes you have to go back and make up; kiss and makeup because there wasn't love. Every marriage is going to have its ups and downs. Are you totally spiritual without any carnality, or are you sometimes more carnal than spiritual? What happens when you're more carnal than spiritual? Things don't go along too well! Then if you're narcissistic, then you think: 'All you do is this, all you do is that.' Hey, you better sit down and work things out.

Verse 25: "Husbands, love your own wives, in the same way that Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it"—to work, to provide, to prepare, to uplift.

Verse 26: "So that He might sanctify it… [make it Holy] …having cleansed it with the washing of the water by the Word; that He might present it to Himself as the glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it might be Holy and without blame" (vs 26-27).

In other words, hold your wife in love, hold your wife in esteem, always be so that she can submit to you willingly, not grudgingly: 'You will submit to me!' That's not the way God intended! Are you telling me God is wrong? What if the woman is adamant and won't submit? What do you do in counseling? You read the Scriptures and say, 'Do you believe the Scriptures? Is God right? or Do you think you know more than God?

Your husband may have some weaknesses, but being adamant to not submit to him makes it even worse. Then you talk to the husband and say, 'Hey look here, fella, you've got a heap big problem.' You have to make yourself submitable so your wife will submit to you. But the problem is, she's probably bought this women's lib things so much, that who knows how that marriage is going to turn out. That's bad news!

When you pray together, you study together, you lay your problems before God together, you look in the Scriptures to find the answer, then those problems will melt away. That is true! One of the things that is important to understand is that if you've been wrong, then admit you're wrong. That won't hurt you; that'll help you. If your mate retorts back" 'I knew it! I knew it!' That's no way to respond.

Sometimes in the case of pedophilia against girls and incest against girls they have scars of emotional difficulties, and so the hatred for men is because of that. It's awfully hard to relate to a God who is a father. Well, there has to be a whole lot of healing, there has to be a whole lot of praying, and there has to be a whole lot of the 'washing of the water by the Word' to cleanse it out. Those are difficult problems.

But nevertheless, there are those who have recovered from it because they were able to put it behind them. You have to ask the question of them:

• What you want the rest of your life to be?
• Like it is now, all messed up?

or

• Do you want to turn to God and put these problems behind you?

It's going to be difficult. I know you can look at me and say, 'It's easy for you to say to forget it.' But it's possible through Christ and God's Spirit, and even possible for those who make up their minds, to get it out of their minds, because you cannot live in the past!

Every one of us has had difficulties and problems growing up. I bet every one of you, if I ask you to tell me, which I won't, but you know in your own mind the first sexual encounter you had as a child. You do! What do you do with it? Well, you put it out of your mind! That's why Paul said 'Let every man have his own wife and every woman her own husband.' That's how to solve these problems.

Verse 28: "In the same way, husbands are duty-bound to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; for no man has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord does the Church" (vs 28-29).

And all you wives know that when your husbands really get sick or hurt, boo-hoo, they are cowards. Isn't that true? You look back at them, and say. 'Oh come on, honey, buck up. I've had children, you've never suffered through that—have you? So, you will live through this.'

Verse 30: "For we are members of His body—of His flesh and of His bones." That means just as God took a rib of Adam to make Eve.

• How close was that?
• How close are we to be to God?
• How close are we to be to each other, husband and wife?

That's how God wants us to relate! God made things this way, and we can't fight against God. But if we don't educate ourselves:

• men are to learn and grow in love of their wives
• men are to learn so they can lead
• men are to make themselves knowledgeable
• men are to make themselves experts in their field of endeavor that they are doing
• men are to watch and guard the house
• men are to love, cherish and cleave to his wife

Then women are to respond, and they will. But you can't do it by brute force or a fist or a club. You do it by God's Word and with Truth, and with giving up some of your vanity. What if you strut around the house like a little banty rooster, and your wife sees all this vanity? If you just let up a little bit! Crowing every three minutes, I'm a rooster! You don't have to remind your wife that you're the head of the house. Like one man did on their wedding night, he took off his trousers and put them on the floor and says, 'If you can put these on, your the head of the house.' I mean that's not the way to do it! Think how much love, understanding, sweetness and kindness that engendered!

1-Peter 3:1 "Likewise, you wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if any are not obedient to the Word, through the behavior of the wives they may be gained without a word, having witnessed your chaste behavior carried out with reverence; whose adorning, let it not be the external adornment of braiding the hair, or wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in costly clothing… [Hollywood] …but let your adornment be the inward person of the heart, manifested in the incorruptible jewel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is of great value in God's sight" (vs 1-4).

You can turn away a lot of things husband and wives, if you just look to your husband and say give him a nice kiss, and say, 'Honey, we've got to talk this over.' Same way with your wife, you look at her and say, 'Honey we've got to talk this over,' and give her a big hug and kiss.

Verse 5: "For in this way also the Holy women of the past who hoped in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands; even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you are her children, if you are doing what is right…" (vs 5-6).

Besides, with the feminine wiles and with the inner thoughts and sense that God gave to women, you know how to capture the heart.

"…and are not frightened by any intimidation. Likewise, you husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, giving them honor as women, andas joint heirs of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be cut off" (vs 6-7).

You wonder why your prayers are answered? You can pray an hour every day, but if you fight with your wife every day, guess why they're not answered? It's not because you didn't pray long enough! It's because you did not honor your wife, and realize she's joint-heirs of the grace.

Verse 8: "Now, the goal is that all of you be of one mind, sympathizing, loving the brethren, compassionate and friendly." That gets into what it needs to be with the Church.

Now, there are many good books out there on marriage counseling. You have to understand that we are equal heirs of salvation, but you can never have two heads. Husband is the head! But that means women are to have the spiritual qualities of Christ, and you are to have the patience and love and kindness and consideration.

I can tell you this. Just in my own mind's eye, I don't keep track of the number of anointed cloths that I've sent out, but I've sent out thousands of them through the years. I can tell you this: Seven to eight out of ten go to women, they are the weaker vessel. Though maybe sometimes they may be stronger mentally. If that's the case, then you as a husband have a challenge. Can you improve your own abilities? Every marriage is a different situation and individual. Every one of us have our own ups and downs, our pluses and minuses, our problems and good points. What we need to do is ask God to help us to use His Spirit, in an attitude of love and service so that the marriage will be successful down through the years.

I talked to a couple some time back; they had been married 63 years! I said, 'Did you have your problems and ups and downs? Oh yes. 'How did you do?' Well we worked them out.

• you go to the Scriptures
• you look at what you need to do
• you look at what needs to be done
• then see how to do it

If there are hurt feelings they can be repaired with love. Love covers a multitude of sins, and that means problems. Keeping score never solved any problems! That's why you have to come to the point of forgetting.

There's one thing that athletes do. They know that they cannot let a poor performance or a mistake stay in their mind; they must get rid of it. They cannot up let it affect what they're playing, because if you do, that will breed more mistakes.

So, we have to do like the Apostle Paul. Look at his life, the most successful person as a Pharisee. Next to the high priest and did all kinds of things. But here's what he said, and this is what we need to do, all of us:

Philippians 3:7: "Yet, the things that were gain to me, these things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. But then truly, I count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord..." (vs 7-8).

• What are you going to hang on to?
• Do you want to hang onto narcissism?
• Do you want to hang on the ego?
• Do you want to hang on to your hurt feelings?
• Do you want to remember every time in the past that things went wrong?

No! Forget it!

"…for Whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as dung… [Greek word is skubalon] …that I may gain Christ and may be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is derived from law, but that righteousness, which is by the faith of Christ, the righteousness of God that is based on faith" (vs 8-9)—which leads to love, hope, mercy, patience and self-control!

Verse 12: "Not as though I have already received, or have already been perfected…" We are a work in progress. Some days you make little bloopers and some days you make big bloopers. What you need to do if you make a big blooper, just tell your husband or wife, 'Well, honey, I'm a work in progress!'

"…but I am striving, so that I may also lay hold on that for which I also was laid hold of by Christ Jesus" (v 12). The stake is eternal life!

Verse 13: "Brethren, I do not count myself as having attained; but this one thing I do—forgetting the things that are behind… [that's what you need to do; you've got to get these things out of your life] …and reaching forth to the things that are ahead."

Listen! We have eternal life and the Kingdom of God, everything that God is going to give us!

Verse 14: "I press toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. So then, let as many as be perfect be of this mind. And if in anything you are otherwise minded, God will reveal even this to you" (vs 14-15).

So sometimes these problems will come up because God is interested in you overcoming some of the things you need to get rid of. God hasn't gone off someplace way far off.

• He is with us.
• He's in us
• He dwells in us
• We have His Spirit
• He's for us, He loves us
• He cares for us
• He wants us to have eternal life

So therefore, we need to be about:

• growing
• overcoming
• learning love
• learning faith
• learning patience

All the things that make for good Christian living and good Christian marriages!

Scriptural References:

• Exodus 35:1-5
• Exodus 16:23
• Mark 2:23-28
• Matthew 12:1-9
• Matthew 5:31-32
• Matthew 19:3-9
• 1 Corinthians 6:9-20
• Leviticus 18:24-29
• Leviticus 19:29
• 1 Corinthians 7:1-6
• 1 Corinthians 14:36-37
• 1 Corinthians 7:7-15
• Ephesians 5:22-30
• 1 Peter 3:1-8
• Philippians 3:7-9, 12-15

Scriptures referenced, not quoted:

• Matthew 18
• Revelation 17
• Jeremiah 23
• 1 Corinthians 5

Also referenced:

Books:

• Judaism: A Revelation of Moses or a Religion of Men? by Philip Neal
• Code Jewish Law by Ganzfried & Goldin

Appendix A: The 14 Rules of Bible Study (The Holy Bible In Its Original Order, A Faithful Version)

Sermon Series:

• The Washing of The Water by the Word
• Divorce and Remarriage

FRC: po/bo
Transcribed: 11/24/17

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